Revelation

So, I never had put this down to paper so if what I'm about to say seems like a rant, then it's all good. This is a story of my life...well, more my walk with God. I call it my walk cause it's a thing I do daily and I continually walk with Him and experience what He shows me. So, here's a shortened version of it all

I prayed the usual prayer one would see off a Billy Graham special when I was about 9 or 10. I thought it was something that I "needed" to do and didn't really take the gravity of the situation seriously. I never thought about what Christianity was just saw that my parents were Christians and thought, "I need to do that!" I spent time being a "good church boy" and tried to do a lot of works to make myself look good at my church. I thought that by doing that I was being a good Christian and would be in good graces with God. Without realizing it I had adopted a works based doctrine and didn't even realize it.

I then took it a step back and began to not take God seriously at all. I would skip out on church events to just goof off or go hang out with friends when I knew God wanted me to be somewhere else, doing what He wanted. I did this up to a certain trip to El-Paso. Little did I know what this mission trip, though a short-term trip, would change my life forever...

While in Mexico for a project with the church we worked with, I had the chance to help run groceries to people's houses. Now, this doesn't seem like a huge task for some but for me it was mind blowing. I was walking around in this neighborhood and saw how little they had and how broken their lives were. But what blew my mind was that these people were thankful for what they had. One mother asked Mrs. Wilson, one of the El-Paso kids, and I to walk their groceries to her house. Well, I didn't think much about this until she invited us in. This house was maybe as big as my bonus room in my house. But she was so proud of what God had given her that she wanted to treat us as guests and not be ashamed of what little they had.

I'm not a guy to cry but believe me, I bawled my eyes out when we got back to our host houses that night. I was so moved but still didn't want to show it in front of everyone. It didn't hit me until I got back to the states how much I had experienced. God had shown me how much I have and not thankful for and how little they have and are so greatful for. I was challenged and finally saw that my way wasn't getting it. My way was by myself and not being able to move in other's lives like I had wanted.

I believe that if God wants a verse on your heart then He will. Luckily for me it was a verse I could identify with right then...Phillipians 4:31...I opened up my bible and just flipped to there without thinking. It was an experience I will never forget to just feel God speak to me and just see how my life had been misused by me and how I was not taking what God had given me to further Him. I saw that day what I had needed to see all of my life. God had been wanting to show me this and He finally had to step in through such a means as that mother in Mexico.

One of my biggest things with God is that he gives you little "knocks" to help jar you to His will...I'll chalk up Mexico as a "sledgehammer" knock. I thank Him daily for that one

Hope yall read this and feel challenged like I did a few years ago