Resolutions Update (07/30/2009)

So, at the beginning of 09 I made some resolutions to myself to make 09 a good year for SME

To those who didn't know, here are the original resolutions:

"First and foremost I want to try to eat a lot healthier than I have in the past. I lost a lot of weight cutting out soda but still drank sweet tea and lots of sugar loaded juices so I am officially cutting out sweet tea out of my diet for 09. Shocking yes but I think in the long run it will help. I'm already feeling the effects of less caffeine in my diet (being more tired during the day) but I'm going to have to learn to watch what I eat and how it'll affect me.

Second thing: I want to work more on getting back in shape. I used to say that my old job at Fatz when I would run around was excercise but now that I work from home I now have to find ways to get in shape. Now, this is probably going to be uber hard but I want to try to make a consistent effort to get in shape and stay that way

Third thing/resolution: drink more water! LOTS OF WATER! Ok, maybe not enough to make me sick but enough to help level out fluid levels and stay hydrated. I used to down gallons of tea in a week but gallons of water will help keep me hyrdated and cleaner so this will help me out in the long run.

Next, I plan to do something I've never done. I will intentionally take time to just enjoy others' company and not have to worry about dating. Now, this is not something I've done since I fell prey to "I have to have a girlfriend" disease and didn't think things out with a previous relationship. But, alas, I have promised myself to make better on my mistakes and find ways to better myself with God's help. I've realized that with relationships just doing things "my way" has led to confusion, heartbreak, and lots of emotional trauma. So, does this mean that I've given up on dating?! No way, not at all people. It just means that I will take my time and not rush. I've looked for what I thought was the "right" thing but in the wrong place.

Also, I've pledged to be myself more and let others see my colors. It's a rush to show who I really am to others and it's getting easier and easier to let others in. It was such a blast near the end of this year getting to hang out with people and see a side of them I'd never seen. So, by opening up myself others open up to me, thus making everything easier for everyone and just plain amazing. I'm tired of being fake for others just so I won't get hurt. I'd rather have people not like me for who I really am than people love who I'm not. I tried to change myself but it ended up in a lot of questions and problems.

Now this one is actually the hardest for me to try to realize. I want to get into a sport, something physical that will push me to my end and bring me back. I'm thinking rugby but I've lately been thinking boxing or MMA but seriously doing it this time. I know I'm not the most athletic person but with getting in shape I think I can get there if I push myself."

I updated on January 28th and here is what I've done since that time

• For eating healthy, that's still a work in progress. My house is on a south beach diet so all of my junk food is gone so that makes me eat healthy at home
• The exercise part is not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm doing basic freeweight exercises when I get off work or in the AM but that's not a whole lot. Work at Ruby Tuesday is a lot of running around so that helps to shed some weight
• I am drinking at least two big cups of water a day! It's ridiculous how much water this house goes through everyday!
• I'm still taking time with dating. I've learned to value the company of other people, girls included, and enjoyed meeting new people and finding good friends at Ruby Tuesday that I thought I'd never find
• To opening myself up, after a crazy late part of June/early July, I took a hiatus from opening up to shelter myself which I realized was not a great plan. So, I'm starting to let more people in and show them that there is more to SME than what you see at first glance
• And to the sport thing, I'm really thinking that I may do club wrestling or rugby at USC this fall! I think I'll do rugby since I don't remember ANYTHING about wrestling even though I did it for three years in high school haha
• Not on my original "list" but my weight when I first set my resolutions was 221, I now weigh 203.5 as of earlier today. I'm stuck at the lovely area of anywhere from 202-208. It's annoying since I want to lose more and more weight but I don't know where to draw a line. That and it's annoying that half of my basketball shorts don't fit me anymore haha

So, that's about it. Keep praying that I can push through and make me into the best SME I can be!

The Blues...

The blues...always a musical genre that speaks to your soul and let's you just relax. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do for a living. Blues is something that makes you just feel alright about your life and just go without a care in the world

My life hasn't been a blues song lately, thank God. But, I've been taking time learning the meaning of patience. I've had to be patient with getting ready for USC and being patient with how things fold out with other aspects of my life. One just being patient with making plans this fall. Here's what I've come up with so far

• Go to USC-UGA game this September (in GA of course!)
• Go see Mayday Parade in Charlotte in October
• Go visit David Cress in Clemson
• Go to the beach at least once before it gets too cold
• If last one doesn't work, just go to Charleston for the heck of it and take lots of pictures
• Maybe a side road trip to GA just for grins and giggles

So, that's about it. I hope the Mayday Parade show works out since I would love to see them live but I don't know who would want to go! (sadness) Maybe if I ask Carrie nicely she can convince the twins to go and we can make it a nice event. We'll see how it all goes

Song of the day: "Luther's Blues"-Luther Allison

Quote of the day: "Read not to contradict and confute, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider"-Sir Francis Bacon"

Already Forgiven

So, it seems to me like Sundays tend to be the day I do my best thinking since it's usually accompanied with a great message at my church and some nice weather...too bad it's over 100 outside!

But today was great! I got to eat breakfast with Luther and had a good deep conversation with him before everyone got to IHOP. I've always thought Luther to be silly but he does have a lot of insight and knows what to say in situations when you need advice. That's what I appreciate out of him, and he knows it. I can have a good laugh with him and the next second he can give me advice that can help me figure things all out

Also, I was awed by the message today. It was all about grace and how God has already forgiven us which blows my mind. If God had not already forgiven us and we tried on our own...well, we'd be screwed! So, two straight weeks of great messages is really good for me since I've been needing good messages in my life. It seems that things have really picked up for me in the last week with being more "energized" and more "positive". I sometimes think that it may be my change in friends but I really think it's me diving more into scripture and praying for my day. I spend most of my thinking time...believe it or not...in the shower. It's odd for some but for me it's my safe haven to sit there and just pray. That or I just sit there on my bed with all the lights off in total silence and darkness and just relax and let everything be still

But back to the message! Bill Powis preached and again it was great! It kinda rambled a bit but it all made sense in reality. For a while I struggled with an assortment of demons and I was wrapped up in them and not wanting to go to God for fear that He would not take me back because I had strayed. But, in Titus (and the whole Bible!) it talks about how we are already forgiven by God and that we should go to Him and we are saved from our evil demons and can be free in him. I'm thinking that God wins out on this one folks

Verses of the day:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" Mark 8:36

What About Now?

(I'm listening to Daughtry so that's why I put that as the title...good song, even better acoustic)

So, I've decided that when I'm at USC I'm going to spend some of my time on Tuesday and Thursday at the gym. I thought about working out early before my first class of the day but since it's at 8am, that went out the window! But I'm thinking I may take the time from when the first class ends to go to the gym. That, or maybe go work out after the second class. I've got a period from 9:15-10:45 so I'm thinking maybe a nap? I will be living maybe a ten minute walk away from Wardlaw where my first two classes of the day are. So, maybe I nap between those and then work out after University 101? I've got the Blatt (where I may be parking my truck full time?) and the Strom. I don't have class till 5:30 in the Coliseum (also walking distance for me). So, life is good for me and my classes are close to me! I get all of my classes in the Coliseum or in Wardlaw so I can walk to all of my stuff and save a LOT of money on gas.

Speaking of USC, I got into the education class I wanted! SO EXCITED! The professor told me that he probably would only seniors which would mean I would be fresh out of luck. Thankfully I was given permission to sign up for the class as of yesterday. But, there may be one small issue. I dropped EDTE 400, which is the field work class for EDFN 300 and I don't know if I have to have it in the same semester or not. If I can't take EDFN because I dropped EDTE I will be so mad at myself. I dropped the EDTE because the professor for EDFN told me I wouldn't be able to get into the course. I've spent 30+ minutes this morning just praying that I don't have to give up the class after I fought for it for so long. Maybe some strings can get pulled and I can get into an EDTE course and have to fight my butt off to show I deserved a chance. But hey, I did it for EDFN, so there's no stopping me!

Song of the day: "Life After You"-Daughtry

Life Is Good...

I love days when I can just sit here and blog about nothing but positive things. I really haven't had anything negative to think about for a while and it's a great feeling. Last night I had my first "date" in a while and it was really good to just hang out with someone and have fun. We just gotta see what happens from here

In other news, Ruby Tuesday is actually going better than it was when I first started. I'm making more money a night and having fun with everyone I'm working with. It's a lot better than when I was at Fatz because all of the people there didn't want to try to let me in their "groups". In probably my third time training I got invited to go hang out with people which never happened at Fatz. I'm really happy about this job and plan to continue to work there even when I'm at USC. It's sad that a lot of people are leaving but I'm happy that most of them have sad that they will come back and come visit so that's a plus!

Song of the day: "Jersey"-Mayday Parade

More Than Words...

Ah, the ever used three words...not the three little words that are used with relationships. But, the words of "more than words", something reserved for when you mean so much with what you just said that your emphasis is extremely strong. That's how much God has molded my life and made me into who I am today. That's how much He cares for me and how much He loves me

Life has been going a little "bonkers" as of late for me with all of the stuff that has been going on. But, thankfully, God never leaves those He watches over. Because if He did, I would be...well, screwed. But God loves us more than words can even begin to say. I just had that thought when I woke up and went to church this morning. Then watching people get baptized I realized that God loves us more than we can even begin to imagine and wants us to be clean and with him. We are saved when we ask Him into our lives but being baptized is the ceremonial act of us dying to ourselves and being reborn. In real life the pastor pulls you out of the water but in reality, Christ is helping you out and showing you that in your heart you are now a new being...reborn

So, today in all was a good day. I am so glad I am a son of God and that I can find such peace and serenity in Him

Verse of the day: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."-Romans 15:13

And I'm Feeling...Good...

So, this is a nice post to say that I am feeling a LOT better after that nice little depressive blog. Nothing like being with family to make you feel worlds better and not think about your pains for a few days. I enjoyed my time in GA and cannot wait to be back down there for the USC-UGA game...lots of fun already planned for that game

When I came back to SC I got to chill with my favorite guys at Wing Night and then got to go see the midnight premiere of Harry Potter with the Ruby Tuesday people. I think I'm really starting to do well at that job and get accepted by most of the staff. There are a few that still don't really talk to me that much but I'm still in my first month so that's expected. I can't wait till I'm at USC so I can hang out with them and not worry so much about curfew like I do when I live at home with my parents

PS: If you haven't already, go buy Daughtry's new album! It's really good, and a lot heavier than his last album which works out for me :)

Song of the day: "You Don't Belong"-Daughtry

Oh the joys of July...

July...usually associated with fun in the sun, fireworks, and getting out and having fun. For me, it's been nothing but people getting pissed at me left and right, friends leaving me, and making me want to just forget the whole world. It's so terrible I'm sitting in the same room as Casey, Kirby, and Carrie yet I feel so distant I can't stand it. I want to just scream for help but all I can do is be pitiful. I'm feeling worse since it's Casey and Kirby's birthday and I am supposed to be having fun. But, after more people getting mad at me I'm feeling terrible and it's showing....this sucks.

I know some of it is my fault, but to those who can say, "Matt, this is kinda your fault" with some of it, look at it from my end. I thought that people would actually be mature and not leave me but I underestimated them. I thought that the people who have abandoned me were bigger than that but it's life, and it's not what I thought it was.

I feel so bad since I came to GA to be with my cousins and Carrie but now I feel as if I'm making them feel depressed by my feeling down. I wish I could just make it all go away but I swore to myself I would never go there again...that I would never, ever, ever go to that place again...God help me

Song of the day: "The Black Parade"-My Chemical Romance

Facebook Hiatus?

So, I have decided I spend waaaay too much time on Facebook. So, on Monday I decided to take a two week break from the site so I can try to spend more time doing other things. So far, it's not that hard! I've really not had a lot of problems staying away. The only major thing is I've had a couple of pictures I wanted to upload from my cell but I decided not to. But it's all good!

Work at Ruby Tuesday has been massive amounts of fun! It's kind of crazy since this is my first time being a "full time" server but I'm getting used to it. Thank God that nobody has tried to be complicated and that I've had an easy time. Wednesday was kind of funny because I couldn't hear worth anything out of my right ear and I kind of struggled for a bit but had a good time. Made pretty good money as well ;)

My twin cousins are turning 21 on July 13th and I am trying to be there from Monday (their actual bday) to Wednesday (Casey's gf Carrie's bday) so I can spend some nice R&R time with them and be a crazy kid for once. Well, not crazy but with them a laugh is always 2 seconds away! I hope I get to go. Even if I only go Monday and Tuesday it will be SO worth it

Song of the day: "No Suprise"-Daughtry